Just Beneath the Surface

Living inside beautiful castles,
with painted faces
plastic smiles
Trying to keep this image that everything's great :o)
That I don't need anyone,
I'm strong,
while Just beneath the surface,
There's pain,
There's fear,
                 disappointment

A perfect Body won't heal my wounded heart,
Beautiful hair won't calm my fears at night,

So I...

Hold my belly in and try not to breath
Put a bow in my little girl's hair,
Make sure my house is beautiful like HGTV,
Make sure I say what's expected of me,
and hope that noone sees what's really going on
                                            just beneath the surface

How are you doing?
Great I say.
But there's a voice inside my head
that keeps reminding me that I'm not good enough
So I live my life trying to keep this image and I don't know why
It seems to get harder,
to keep it all together,
holding my breath all the time,

Still I...

Hold my belly in and try not to breath
Put a bow in my little girl's hair
Make sure my house is beautiful like HGTV,
Make sure I say what's expected of me,
and hope that noone sees what's really going on
                                            just beneath the surface

I've tried so hard to outrun my failures and fears
I've climbed so high, but I still have tears,
and the voices of guilt and shame torment me
Where can I find peace?
When can I be free?
When can I breath?
Who made up these rules?
                                          Is there something more?

Or is everyone...


Holding their belly in and trying not to breath
Putting a bow in their little girl's hair
Making sure their house is beautiful like HGTV,
Making sure they say what's expected,
and hoping that noone sees what's really going on
                                            just beneath the surface