Monday, May 2, 2011


I don't know where you find yourself at this time in your life, but for the past few months I've been in the process of leaving a position that I've loved for three years.  When I first knew that I'd no longer be directing for Classical Conversations, my heart was filled with sorrow and disappointment.  Then I was filled with excitement and anticipation:  "What does God have for me now!"  Now that the final reality is here, there is an emptiness that I feel.  It's almost like losing a loved one.  I'm struggling to find my identity and significance.  I'm feeling restless.  Don't get me wrong, there is MUCH to do in managing a  home with 6 people, and homeschooling.  But if I'm totally honest with myself, there not much excitement in sweeping floors, washing dishes, or giving handwriting lessons.  Ok, I said it!  Directing, encouraging, and being in a position of influence was exciting and I loved being used by God in that way.  So now to go back to a life of quietness, behind the scenes seems so empty.  I know it's not.  But it feels that way, right now.
     I pray that God will help me to be content with this place that He has put me.  I pray that He will help me to rest in the quietness of this place.  May I glorify and honor Him as I go about the mundane tasks of life, pouring out myself.  May I cherish every opportunity to experience Him through His creation.  May I take time to rest in His presence and listen.

Leaving is hard.

Yet it's necessary to leave a place in order to go some place new.  But whether you're leaving or arriving, I encourage you to enjoy the journey.  No matter where you are, God is with you, and that makes the journey a beautiful one.  Losing someone or something you love is hard.  But we can be sure that God will fill every empty place with Himself.  He will satisfy us with His unending love and grace.  It's good to be empty, for emptiness can be filled.

My year began with loss.   Loss of 2 family members.  Loss of our dog.  Loss of some opportunities.  I grieve those losses.

Father fill my cup.  My mouth is opened wide that you may fill me.  My cup is held out before your flowing fountain that it may be filled.  Teach me how to take that cup to the thirsty that they may be filled as well.  Oh, and teach me how to drink until I am first satisfied.  Amen.


  1. How well I know that feeling because I've been there a few times myself. It is my experience that He uses these times as preparation for something else or to go to the next level in something you've already doing. Take art for instance....those of us who create artwork are always on a "learning curve". Keep honing your skills....take a class....learn something new. In not time at all, God will have you "knee deep" in something else specifically designed for you. Thanks for sharing your heart and I hope my perspective helps just a wee bit. (Remember...I'm much older than you!)

  2. Ok, I have a confession: I do enjoy giving handwriting lessons. I've been teaching my youngest two children how to write cursive, and we've all enjoyed it!