Embrace your weaknesses, Receive His grace

In the song "Beneath the Surface", I've tried to describe the desperation that I've felt in trying to keep "everyone's" approval.  Never letting anyone get too close, so they wouldn't find out who I really am.  If they knew, they wouldn't like me, certainly wouldn't love me.  In fact, they'd judge me.  I see the belly beneath the clothes that hangs.

The voices of the enemy tells me that "I'm lazy."  "I'm worthless."  "I'm not trying hard enough."  "Don't accept defeat." "Work harder."  "Work smarter."

I cannot accept that there is something deficient in me.

And every failure bring another wave of guilt and another layer to hide.  It pushes me deeper underground.   I cannot face the reality...
I fail.
        I'm weak.
                       I'm needy.

I'm desperate for God to fill me.  I cling to His grace, for it fills in the places where I fall short.  He was perfect, because He knew I could never be.  He lived the life I can't and then He gave His life to me as if it were my own.  So His perfection is mine!  It makes NO sense. I still fail--miserably.  My faults are always before me, seeking to re-imprison me inside the walls of guilt and shame.  But love says, "No!

She's forgiven and free!"

I'm learning to live in this reality.  Not letting the eyes of others tell me I'm ok.  Not letting their misinformation tell me how to live.  Looking to Love to show me how to live in this freedom, and desiring to take others there.

How can I embrace my failures, my weaknesses and my struggles?  They're not areas to be hidden, to run from, to surpress...   When I  spend all of my energy hiding, it seems like the forces of darkness expend all of their energy trying to expose them, all the while whispering, "Don't let them find out.  What are they going to think?"  The moment I give up the struggle and announce my struggles, my pains and my problems from the rooftops, I walk in new freedom.  Hell's hold on me is broken.  And in rushes a flood of grace and peace that carries me.

And I'm NOT making excuses!  That lie won't fly anymore!

No more comparing.  I have my own unique path to walk.

I can only do my best, given my circumstances, my strengths, my weaknesses...and even if I'm not doing all I can do...

                                  HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!!!!!!!!!



embrace your weaknesses
admit your failures
stop trying to earn approval and acceptance
stop trying to prove that you're worthy
stop comparing yourself with others
receive His grace
receive His righteousness
receive His perfection, His wholeness, His sufficiency
receive His love
receive His forgiveness
receive His full acceptance

He gave His life that you might have these extravagent gifts
just open your heart and receive them

From a Recovering Achiever seeking to fully receive the gifts God so generously and lavishly gives

Just Beneath the Surface

Living inside beautiful castles,
with painted faces
plastic smiles
Trying to keep this image that everything's great :o)
That I don't need anyone,
I'm strong,
while Just beneath the surface,
There's pain,
There's fear,
                 disappointment

A perfect Body won't heal my wounded heart,
Beautiful hair won't calm my fears at night,

So I...

Hold my belly in and try not to breath
Put a bow in my little girl's hair,
Make sure my house is beautiful like HGTV,
Make sure I say what's expected of me,
and hope that noone sees what's really going on
                                            just beneath the surface

How are you doing?
Great I say.
But there's a voice inside my head
that keeps reminding me that I'm not good enough
So I live my life trying to keep this image and I don't know why
It seems to get harder,
to keep it all together,
holding my breath all the time,

Still I...

Hold my belly in and try not to breath
Put a bow in my little girl's hair
Make sure my house is beautiful like HGTV,
Make sure I say what's expected of me,
and hope that noone sees what's really going on
                                            just beneath the surface

I've tried so hard to outrun my failures and fears
I've climbed so high, but I still have tears,
and the voices of guilt and shame torment me
Where can I find peace?
When can I be free?
When can I breath?
Who made up these rules?
                                          Is there something more?

Or is everyone...


Holding their belly in and trying not to breath
Putting a bow in their little girl's hair
Making sure their house is beautiful like HGTV,
Making sure they say what's expected,
and hoping that noone sees what's really going on
                                            just beneath the surface

A New Beginning

Though I've had this blog for a little over a year now, I've decided to give my blog a "face lift".  I hope you enjoy it.  Since I've decided to start posting my art, and more creative writings, I needed somewhat of a neutral palette to work with.  Plus I love "earthy", natural colors and textures.   Those who know me, know I'm an "all natural girl"--in almost every way.

I've also decided to post on a regular basis.  I'm sortof afraid to commit to this, bit I will start posting weekly.  That will mean the blogs will be a bit more personal, definitely not written as eloquently.    I just want to invite you to join me on the journey called life.  I'll let you peak into my discoveries, my challenges, pain, joys...  Mostly, I'll continue to share the lessons that the Father continues to teach me as I listen to His voice.

 If you are blessed or encouraged, please invite and friend.  I pray that my blog becomes a regular part of your weekly routine.

Blessings,

Alecia

Leftover Pieces

What do you do with the leftover pieces?  What does God do with the broken pieces of our lives?  Our failures, our sins, our mess...  If we give Him the pieces, He creates a beautiful masterpiece.  

Leftover Pieces 5"x7" Mixed Media by Alecia Baptiste