Thursday, January 5, 2012

40 Days of Discovery- Day 4

From my journal:

Today I rejoice in failures and mistakes.  When we do our best, and we still fail. When we strive and still no results.  When we are searching for answers.  The answer is ALWAYS Jesus.

It is our failures that reveal the truth about us.  We are weak,  powerless, and needy--apart from God.  We need help.  There is no amount of "try this" or "try that", "read this" or "take this class" that will make us adequate.  It is God Himself that makes us complete.

His grace is sufficient.  His righteousness is perfect.  His wisdom is complete.  He is fully able to implement all that He knows is good.

And he calls us to rest in His sufficiency.  REST.

Stop working, striving, performing.... and rest.

Come all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke and learn of me, for I am gentle, and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-29

The yoke that I put on myself isn't easy and, the burden that I carry isn't light.  The yoke that others put on me isn't easy.  It's burdensome.  The yoke I put on my children isn't easy.  The yoke that the culture puts on me isn't easy.  It's seems more spiritual to carry a difficult yoke and a heavy burden.  But it isn't.  We can't run a race with a heavy burden. We need to be light.  I can't run my race with the guilt of not living up to unrealistic standards.  I can't run with the burden a cart full of "do's and don'ts" that I must live up to or... I'm a bad person.  I must perform perfectly or I won't happy.  I must work so hard not to mess up my kids.  I must work hard to be healthy.  I must work hard keep my home clean and beautiful.  Being a good steward honors God.  I mustn't overspend.  I must wash my girls hair twice a week so that their hair is its healthiest.  I must prune my roses.  I must ... I must.... I must...  Every talk show, magazine article, suggestion from a friend adds to this burden.  The weight of all these things often presses in on me so heavily, that I can barely breathe.

So I thank you Jesus, that you simply tell me to receive your perfection.  You've already done what I can't do.  I'm free to love, and to be loved.  Your grace is more than enough to cover my failings.  Your grace fills in all my gaps.  Your love redeems my failures.  Seems too simple. 

When I come to you with sincere repentance, you forgive.  Everytime.  I don't have to beat myself up.  I don't have to do penance.  I don't have to beg and hope for forgiveness.  I simply ask.  You are faithful and just and you forgive ALL our sins and  purify us of all unrighteousness.  Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That means I can forgive myself.  I don't have to let the weight of these burdens weigh me down anymore.

HEB 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. [2] Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

You endured our burdens on the cross.  You carried them, so that we would never have to carry these burdens again.

COL 2:20 Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: [21] "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? [22] These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. [23] Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

I'm not putting those burdens back on me again.  Help me Holy Spirit.  I don't want to go back.

Continue to expose "the rules" that I still submit to, thinking that somehow if I'm able to follow them, I'll be alright.

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